(Originally published on my tumblr February, 2018.)
You know those chunky plastic kids slides that are only about two feet tall? These sort?
When I was six I fell off of one of these in my backyard (after I felt that standing up on the top of it was a wise idea), and landed on our concrete patio left elbow first. I was very unconcerned by this, but I did realize I’d fucked up somehow and needed to inform my mother. So inside I went, right up to my mother who was working on something in the kitchen. Went straight to her, held my elbow up with my arm bent so it was pointed at her, and informed her in the most nonchalant possible tone:
“Mommy, my elbow is flat now.”
It was indeed much flatter than an elbow is meant to be, and my mother did not find this nearly as unconcerning as I did.
So, off to the hospital we went where we were informed that I had basically chipped off the end of my ulna. Apparently this is the sort of thing that they assumed could just be fixed by a cast, so I got a bright pink one and went on my way.
Technically, it did heal. Technically, my arm is fine. It just also bends a somewhat significant amount farther backwards than it should technically be able to.